Drunken Confessions
by XaBlackRoseX
Summary: Nick and Amanda have talk late one night where Amanda says some stuff she might regret in the morning. Amanda also stumbles upon some truth she already knew, but was not ready to believe.


"Why her?! Huh, what is sooo special about her?" Amanda slurred and continued to glare at Nick. Nick shook his head. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He tried to reach over and grab her drink from her. Amanda moved it out of the way, her hand pushed against his chest. Nick heard her mumble something incoherently. "You're drunk Amanda. You don't know what you're saying."

Amanda turned her head up to look into his eyes. It bobbled for a moment as she tried to steady herself in the seat. "I'm fine." She muttered. Nick scrunched his face up in disgust as her breath lingered by his nose. "An-d, I'm saying why do you always go back to her?" She used some of her force to push him away, but she just ended up pushing herself back and nearly fell out in the process. Nick caught her and helped her to sit right once again. Amanda giggled before she took another sip of her drink.

Nick rubbed his temple as he sat back down. He figured he could possibly talk her into stopping for the night. "Who?" Amanda looked at him as if it was obvious. "Olivia Benson." She growled out. Her lips pursed and face in a scowl. He groaned. This was stupid. "Not this again 'manda." Amanda straightened up and looked at him pointedly. "She's a bitch." Amanda stated frankly. Nick felt himself get angry as he furrowed his brows together. "Stop it." But she didn't listen to him, she never did. "Everyone thinks she's so great, but she's not. Do you know why she's not?"

"Amanda that's enough! Don't talk about her like that!" Nick yelled. He could handle Amanda verbal complaints about him, but not against Olivia. He felt the need to defend her no matter who it was against or why. That's what partners do. "No, no, no, no, no. You listen to me Nick-y. I'm tired of you running to her every time she calls. It's like you're her puppy." Amanda began. Her voice occasionally mixed and slurred the words, which made it nearly impossible for Nick to understand.

"And further-erly more-" "Further more." Nick corrected. Amanda nodded and downed the last of her glass. "That's what I said." She shook her head, her hand coming up to her temple. Nick leaned in to offer some sort of comfort or help, but she just pushed him away. "Further more you love her." Nick looked at her surprised. He went to speak, but Amanda cut him off by jabbing his chest with her finger. "Don't deny it. I see the way you look at her. We all do." Her voice was low and sounded hurt.

"She's my partner Amanda."She shook head ferociously. "No! No she's not; not anymore. She is your superior, your boss Nick." Nick looked at her like she's gone crazy. "What is this really about?" "Amanda looked at him with such sad eyes it made him want to pull her close and never let go. "Why wasn't I good enough?" Her voice was so low Nick wasn't even sure if he had heard it. "Amanda?" "What is so special about Olivia Benson that makes everyone fall in love with her? I thought you were different." She turned and looked at him.

They kept each other's gaze for a moment, neither speaking. Amanda waited to hear Nick deny it and Nick didn't know what to say. Amanda chuckled and shook her head "Another please!" she called out to the bar tender. Nick watched as another drink was delivered to his blonde friend. Finally he found his nerve to speak. "Amanda you know what happened with us was just temporary, right? We were never serious. You knew that before we started. "Amanda nodded. "Yeah-yeah, I know! I'm only ever good for a quick fuck."

"That's not true." Nick defended, but she just snorted and turned to look at him. "It is. But you know what, I don't care. Go ahead and chase after someone who will never love you in return. Go ahead Nick." There was a long pause as Amanda downed her new drink. "Amanda come on let's just go." Nick begged. Amanda frowned. "Why do you care what happens to me Nick?" Nick offered her a smile.

"Because you're sort of like my partner and I'm your friend. We work together, I want you to be safe, and I don't want you getting hurt." Amanda nodded; her lips parted enough to form a quick smirk. He thought he heard mumble a quick _'Right.'_ Before he could question it she stood and clapped her hand on the back of his shoulder. "Alright Nick-y you win, I'll go." Nick stood and gave her a serious look.

"It wasn't about winning Amanda." Amanda just waved him off. She watched at him through her peripheral vision, he was busy paying for her drinks. Amanda contemplated whether she would ask Nick in once he dropped her off. Maybe they could pick up where they left off. Just then Nick's phone went off. When he pulled it from his pockets she caught sight of the picture on the screen. It was a photo of Olivia she was kneeling beside Zara who was holding Noah. All looked happy.

Amanda tore her eyes away and internally groaned. _'How fucking adorable.'_ She thought bitterly and turned towards him. "Hey Liv, is it okay if I call you back." He kept his gaze on her then suddenly turned away. "Whoa, slow down. What happened?" Amanda could see the concern in his eyes and on his face. He brought his hand to his mouth as he listened. "Is he okay? No, no I'll be there. Yeah I'm on my way." That's when Amanda heard it. She had been so focused in on Nick and his conversation she could actually hear parts of what Olivia was saying. _'Thanks Ni – you soon - love you - .'_

Nick turned and caught Amanda's gaze. "Yeah, I'll see you soon." He hurriedly placed his phone back in his pocket. She could tell he was worried and wanted to get to where ever _**she**_ was. Amanda nodded and pushed his chest. "Go Nick, she needs you." Nick looked towards the exit missing the pain that crossed her face. "What about you? I'm not going to let you go home by yourself." Amanda suddenly felt painfully sober, she pulled her phone out and waived in front of his face.

"Go, I'll call Finn or Carisi." Nick didn't wait a moment longer. He turned and bolted out of the bar and left Amanda there. She Frowned and sat back down sighing. She dialed and placed the phone to her ear. "Hey Finn, can you come get me?" she looked around the place trying to remember the name. "Umm Vincent's I believe. Thanks see you in ten." Placing her phone back on the counter she hunched over and crossed her arms. She looked at the bartender who just starred at her. "Give me another." She mumbled; she suddenly felt very vulnerable. She grabbed her drink just as she felt the tears prick her eyes.

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A/N: Well this is not what I was going for. I do not Rollaro, so p[lease don't ask me to make this that type of story. I am Bensaro forever. I feel Like Amanda does harbor some animosity towards Benson and Amaro for their close relationship. Anyways this kind of just happened. Let me know what you think. You're feed back on my last SVU story 'Rain Water Apologies' Was amazing. I never received such great comments on any of my previous work. Thank you guys.


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